Monday, June 22, 2015

Self

I feel trapped inside myself. I feel like I haven't been me for a while. My meds help, but just how much if I've been feeling like this?

A lot lately I've been feeling like this - withdrawn, lonely, and lackluster, I guess you could say. Do I have good days? Sure - doesn't everyone? But more often than not I'm down. There's no  middle ground, it seems.

Trying music right now, to get me out of my funk. My upbeat playlist is barely registering on me, it seems, and I feel like all I want to do is go to bed and sleep. I haven't even pulled anything out for dinner, so it'll probably have to be hot dogs. Oh well, it's a hot day anyway. Maybe grilled cheese and soup. I don't know yet.

I was doing well for a while, I resubscribed to retail World of Warcraft this month and was having fun until recently, when I started getting the meh feeling about logging in again.

As for gaming, haven't been doing any of that. The ghouls game James was running is dead, though it was time for it to happen anyway, as it was just him and me. DnD switched to Brett running, and it's been a long ass hiatus....not sure I feel the drive to get back into it, frankly. But I'm going to try, since we're supposed to game tomorrow and it's WoW patch day anyway.

I was really excited about Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition but now that excitement has grown dull too. And I'm supposed to be running it! *sigh*

Been talking near daily with a friend from Cali. More accurately, my husband has, and I listen in, occasionally chiming in. There's usually another person on call, whom I have yet to learn to like very well, so maybe that's part of the reason I'm so introverted. But no, I do the same thing when he isn't part of the Skype call.

So I don't know what the hell is wrong with me on any front. I just know that right now I kind of feel on the verge of crying, so I'm going to escape to the other room for a bit and try to calm down. Maybe I'll get back to webpage stuff or WoW later. Who knows?

First world problems, right?


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