Sunday, September 13, 2015

Kind of an Introspection?

Very much a kind of blah right now.

I haven't posted here in ages, because I don't feel that anything i need to write can be said because people I don't want to see it will see it, and I don't write in my private blog because what's the point of doing that when there's no possibility of feedback anyway?

I don't even know why I'm writing now. Guess I'll try to cover a few things.

School finally started back up. Thank god for that! They were driving me insane being home all the time. Jack and Katy started on the 1st of September, while Ethan didn't start until the 3rd. Then there was Labor Day, which resulted in a three day weekend for them, so this upcoming week will be their first full week of school. I shall relish in the five days a week of peace and quiet - just wish I had more to do during that time.

Speaking of things to do, I made a list of things to do when I'm bored or depressed.

  • Blogging
    • Do a daily blog
    • Talk about favorite rpg's
  • World of Warcraft
    • Play an alt
    • Play at all
    • Read one new piece of WoW lore
    • Read wow lore chronologially
    • Set up an alt guild
      • Think of names for alt guild
        • Don't Worry, I'm Caffeinated
  • Other
    • Color once a week and scan in and put it up
    • Do yoga or pilates
    • Read a wicca book
    • Read a fiction book

As you've probably guessed by now, things are going remarkably well. Oh wait, let me turn off my sarcasm.

Prior to this format, the list was about creating a personal website. Which I did, in fact, do. I just look at it now as a colossal waste of time project, because no one will ever look at the damn thing. I guess I am doing some things on the list now - after all, I'm writing this blog. So let's talk about the other stuff on the list, in order.

Do a daily blog - Well, that's what this is, isn't it?

Talk about favorite rpg's - I'll get to games in short order, but as for my favorite rpg? Probably Vampire: The Masquerade. It's what I've played the most, understand the most, and enjoy the most, out of what I've tried. There's others out there, but this is the one I like best.

World of Warcraft - While I am excited for the next expansion it's not here yet, and I haven't logged in for more than a few minutes - maybe an hour, tops - all month. I don't know what it is, exactly, save for perhaps I'm not fond of endgame content? I don't know...that still wouldn't be an excuse for not playing an alt. Only thing I have been kind of excited about is making my own guild again. Not that I don't like the one I'm in, mind you, because I do. Maybe I just want the challenge? I don't know if anyone would follow me, however.

Color once a week and scan in and put it up - I haven't found the right picture to spark a desire to color yet. Been downloading line art that I like, but nothing jumps up and yells PRINT ME!!! Maybe I'm waiting for us to get a working scanner? The one we have won't scan because that printer is out of ink.

Do Yoga or Pilates - Yea, this hasn't started yet. I'm depressed about the fact that I've gained six fucking pounds since last month when I saw the doctor. I need to look up or download vids for exercising, I think, and try to do them on my own, then h ope I don't get all anxious about doing them while people are around, even if the only person home is my husband and he won't make fun of me for doing them, even though the anxiety says he might. 

Read a Wicca book - I have a ton of these, and I've only cracked open a few. I blame it on retention, and having to read, and then re-read because my mind wanders off, but I don't know if that's really the problem or not. Point being, I haven't done it, and doubt I am going to do it any time soon. 

Read a fiction book - More or less the same as above. I haven't tried reading in a while though - I quit because Ethan kept knocking or yanking the tablet out of my hands any time I tried to read. I also feel overwhelmed by what I have to catch up on, that at this point I might as well start the series they belong to over from scratch. If I do that, should I review them, or would that be too much of a pain in the ass? I don't know, but it's a thought I didn't think of before. 

That's all that's on my list, and it seems pathetically small, but I've got little else I can feasibly do, I think. I don't know why i'm going to all this trouble to write stuff down - betting no one will comment. And there I go with the negative thoughts again! Got to get out of this rut. And that's probably what this is - a rut that I feel stuck in and unable to escape from. I started a sentence with and...aren't you supposed to never do that? Oh well - what's done is done and I'm not going to bother changing it now. 

Thinking that perhaps I should add some writing goals to my to-do list as well. Maybe some day if I plod away enough at it and don't get too down on myself and overly dissect my work, I  could publish something, even if it's only a self-publish. 

Oh, and I should probably add binge watch Supernatural on there as well. Wont' be hard to enjoy, it's just a matter of not getting constantly interrupted - which is probably another reason I don't read. I hate being interrupted, it pisses me off. By that same token, I need to learn to not interrupt others when they are talking or doing things. 

I said I was going to talk about the roleplaying games that I currently havve (or until recently, had) on my syngames site )those are games in progress or about to begin). 

Dungeons & Dragons: Princes of the Apocalypse: It's been over a month since we played, so I removed the game from the syngames site. I honestly don't know that we're ever going to get back to it, and it's been so long since we played that I cannot remember anything that has happened, nor can I recall anything about my character. I have to look up my character sheet just to remember her name, 

World of Darkness: Mage - A game that was brought up and changed GM hands before it's even been begun. Twice even. The book (a monstrosity of a book, I might add) hasn't even been fuly read. And while some characters have been created, not everyone has made a acharacter, and ideas have not been coming for it, so it's fallen by the wayside, potentially to get picked back up at a later time, but who knows. 

World of Darkness: New Orleans - I had the idea to run a game, and got ideas based of a cheesy SyFy movie that I had ended up really liking. Others took interest, and not everyone has a completed character yet, or at all, in some cases, but the foundation is there, and ideas are there. Just waiting on hearing when a potential start date could be. A little concerned this may never get off the ground, due to conflicting schedules. 

World of Darkness: Salem - Actively being played right now. There's been three sessions, although the first session was retconned due to someone losing their character and not being able to remember enough about it to recreate it. So a new character was made and we started over again. Two sessions in, and it's been a good amount of fun so far. 

World of Darkness: Ghouls 2.0 - By far the game I am having the most fun with so far. Unlike Salem, I am not running this game, which may be part of the reason for the tons of fun. Been playing for a while, and quite a bit has happened, as is covered by character journals, but I want to play more, and hopefully sooner rather than later. 

Honestly? That's fairly accurate, though I don't think I dislike myself as much as I used to. Am I addicted to rp? Pretty much...I want to do it all the time, assuming it's the right game. Been trying to reign in asking to play all the time, and I think I've been doing ok, although I still talk about it a lot. 

There should be more here. I've been writing for at least an hour, maybe more, and it doesn't feel like enough has been put to this entry, and yet I've run out of things to say, I think. 

1 comment:

  1. Hey :) Sorry I don't comment more- I really do enjoy hearing about your kids and how life is going for you! I'm not really into the rpg/Wow stuff so I usually skip those posts though. Did you know there are some really cool coloring books on Amazon? I got a fairy & a pagan coloring book from there several years ago- when I unpack them I'll see if I can take a couple pics for you. Have you explored pinterest at all? I'm addicted lol. Its a great time-filler and maybe you'll get interested in a new hobby like cooking or find low-cost crafts to make people for Yule etc. :) Best of wishes! (Probably best to comment to me on facebook if you want me to see it btw)